Leaving Senior Year

I thought it was only fitting that I make this post as the last three weeks of high school approach. My last post on this blog (which I don't remember making) was my reflections prior to starting my senior year and now we've come full circle and are at the end of four years of high school.

Four years has been a long time. I think back on all the trauma I've faced, the fun times and the not-so-fun-times, the 3am sobbing over some test, the AP exams, the finals weeks, the hundreds of facts and dates and people memorized and I ask myself, was I truly happy? Am I satisfied with the work I've done?

I'd like to have one confident answer to those questions but I really don't and it's hard having to adjust to a new life and a new transition without fully feeling satisfied with the last chapter. I think it's been a long journey, with lots of disappointments, especially when it comes to college, but I don't feel as if I truly missed out on all the important high school landmarks everyone always seems to obsess over.

I went to my senior ball. I got into a college that I'm happy about. Maybe it's not my dream but it's a happy change. I participated in senior ditch day (shh!). I think there's a lot to be grateful for even though this is not where I thought I would end up when I was writing my last post.

There's a lot to be happy about. I still want to major in History, I still want to go into law, I still am friends with the same people (with some new ones too!), I still love to read and write and go to concerts. Here's a happy rant about some things I am really looking forward to this summer and in the next upcoming years.

*COLLEGE! It's finally here. That elusive thing I always dreamed about is finally here and I am ready to head into my college life and experience all of the trauma/excitement of being a college student. 

*THE SUMMER I TURNED PRETTY. It's becoming a TV SHOW this JUNE and when I tell you, I've never been happier about anything in my entire life. I dedicated my life to those books. Ever since 2016/2017, I've read each of them at least once per year, if not twice. I return to them anytime I feel sad or when I want a quick, fun summer read. I made a fancast for it on this very blog 5 years ago and the fact that it's now a REAL SHOW is CRAZY. I am ecstatic. I am scared for the fake fans that are bound to come and I won't lie, I will be gatekeeping, but I am beyond excited.

*STRANGER THINGS. Literally every good show is coming out this summer and it's been so long since I've really been truly invested in something so lighthearted and free from academics and I'm excited to get back into that. 

*SUMMER. GRADUATION. GRAD NIGHT. LAST HURRAHS. READING. INTERNSHIPS/JOBS (WHATEVER WILL TAKE ME). 

So even though it didn't turn out the way I wanted it to, I have so many things to look forward to that I'm going to be positive and step out of senior year with a happy smile on my face.

Though I will probably cry at graduation.