i finished my freshman year of college.

I can't believe I'm even making this post because I've looked forward to college for so long. I have been waiting to head off to university and live what I hoped would be a better version of my life. So many people say that college is the best four years of their life and honestly, after this year, I sincerely hope that is not true. 

College is a lot more than I expected it to be. College has its upsides and its downsides and it's definitely a learning journey. I just wanted to give some updates from my last post about ending my first semester because I think I truly learned a lot about myself during second semester. 

Firstly, I am officially a declared History and Linguistics double major on the pre-law track with a minor in Public Policy! I go to UC Berkeley so there is going to be a LOT of work in my future, what with the grade deflation and the trauma and the horror stories one hears about academics at Cal. My fall semester of sophomore year will be the most harrowing experience of my college life thus far (I will attempt to make an update post then too). However, I am super excited about declaring and finally giving myself some sort of direction for my next three years. 

A quick summary of my spring 2023 classes because they were definitely... interesting.

History 7B (American History post-Civil-War era): 3/5 This class was honestly much more difficult than I'd expected it to be mainly because of my GSI and the difficult grading system I was faced with. I dislike American history and do not plan on taking any other classes in American history unless they are required. However, I did learn more about our country from other perspectives that I hadn't known about before, and that's one thing I love about Berkeley classes. We always stress diversity in ways that don't necessarily feel like tokenism or performative activism. 

History 6B (Chinese History from the Mongols on): 3/5 This class was traumatic, if we're being honest. I found it hard to connect with the material and the professor and that made my experience more harrowing. However, I did enjoy learning more about modern China because I don't know a lot about it despite my Chinese background. I do hope to take more classes in Chinese history in the future, though this was not the best experience. 

Linguistics 100 (Introduction to Linguistic Science): 5/5 I loved this class. My friends from the beginning of the semester would be shocked to hear that based on how much I complained and cried about this class but after getting through all of it, I really enjoyed this class. I learned so much about completely brand-new material and I declared in this subject after my positive experience in this class. It was also my first upper-division class which was interesting and I really really loved my time here. 

Philosophy 25B (Modern Philosophy): 2/5 This was the worst class I've taken at Cal so far mainly because I personally disliked the material. I do not know what possessed me to take philosophy. I mistakenly thought it would be really interesting but it was the most boring, nothing class ever. I hated it to my core. Some things were marginally surprising but overall, I do not want to hear from any other white man philosopher ever again.

CLUBS/OTHER

I joined a LOT of clubs and organizations in my second semester. I am in my extrovert era. My whole thing about college is trying to redesign myself and change from the person I was in high school, because I genuinely do not like who I was at that point. I heard from my high school friends that they can tell I've changed (positively) and that was the most validating and affirming thing I've heard in a while. 

I joined The Daily Californian, Berkeley's newspaper, as a Copy Editor. After getting rejected in the fall, I was ready to give up. A second rejection from Model United Nations propelled me to reapply here and pursue my passion for writing and editing. Thankfully, this time I got in. I have enjoyed my time at the newspaper and am continuing on this summer, which has been fun. 

I joined the Asian American Association and its Culture Committee, where I planned a bunch of cultural events for our group. I found this very fun and made a lot of new friends here. It's definitely a very interesting experience (hazing is real) but I enjoyed it nonetheless. Next spring, I will be a Family Head with one of my best friends at Berkeley and I'm super excited for that!

I joined Clio's Scroll, the History Undergraduate Journal, which was a strange experience. I was the only freshman on the team and everyone was very close with each other already, which was kind of isolating. The group is also incredibly small. I will continue my role here as an Associate Editor but I hope that something about the structure changes for the fall.

I also upped my role at Phi Alpha Delta and joined the Networking Committee, where I organized and hosted several networking dinners with various attorneys. This is definitely one of the coolest experiences I've had so far. I love talking with attorneys and learning more about the field as I try to navigate my own dreams and hopes for the future. Next semester, I will be an Associate Director for this committee and hope to continue networking with attorneys, judges, and legal professionals. 

SUMMER

I am currently working at one of the dorms at Berkeley and it's been an interesting experience. One thing about Berkeley is there is a lot of identity crises and feeling like an imposter at all times. I saw everyone getting cool internships and jobs and research opportunities for the summer and felt like I wasn't doing enough. However, I ultimately decided to work this summer for funds for the fall and am starting a new positive at the Restorative Justice Center later this summer, which is super cool. 

Anyways, it's been a lot. I am definitely focused on reinventing myself, making friends, finding new opportunities, and making the most of my education at Berkeley. I am deeply grateful for having the opportunity to attend this institution and I don't want to waste my time here. It's been very stressful and many tears have been shed but ultimately, I'm glad I made this decision. Hopefully my mind doesn't change in the next three years.

Malayna.